Some people are terrified about their weight. I'm terrified about my grades. I check them constantly. I look at the numbers and letters, not putting them into context. That seems eerily similar to an eating disorder...shall we call it a grade disorder?

I am disgusted and sickened by the language used by many students in high school.  On my bus ride home, I overheard a conversation between four freshmen guys about how difficult a project was in their class. They said it was "retarded" multiple times and that the project was so "gay". 


First I will address the use of the word "retarded". Merriam-Webster Online defines the word as "slow or limited in intellectual or emotional development or academic progress". First of all, when people most often use this word today, they're not even using it properly. The word doesn't mean stupid, it means slow in progress. An example of this use is in music. When there is a retard in the pace, it means that the tempo gets slower.

I used to not find this word as offensive as I do now. About six months ago, I met and began working with a young boy. He has the cutest most innocent smile and eyes that sparkle like nobody else's. He also has epilepsy and a mental disorder that prevents him from talking. He moves clumsily and I have been told that he has trouble understanding what people say. Whenever someone says something is "retarded" when they mean something is stupid, I think of him. I think of how thoughtless they are being. People never use this word as a compliment; it is always considered to be an insult. People use this word to sound cool or because they don't think that it should insult anyone. But, please, before you use that word again, think of all of the people you are in fact insulting. Think of those who don't have the ability to defend themselves. Think of this child. The child who never in his life ever hurt anyone but gets hurt by people on a daily basis. Think of this before you throw around such a misused word.

Now on to the word "gay". Give me a break from the excuse of "but I don't mean it like that, I mean it like silly or stupid". Sure...could you remind me when this term began to be used as "silly" again? Yes, the word gay used to mean happy or lighthearted. However, meanings of words change over time, especially this word. Now whenever a person calls something "gay" and uses it as an insult and as a way of saying something is stupid, they are calling homosexuals stupid. Don't call something that bothers you a sexual orientation and consider it to be an insult. Being homosexual is not a bad thing. It's as natural as heterosexuality is. It is not something that people should feel that they need to hide. However, many people hide it because they fear that their sexual orientation is a bad thing. Why do they think that? They think that because people use gay and stupid interchangeably. Please, do not think that these words' definitions are the same. They are not. Know what you are saying and know what it means.

I can't speak for all females regarding this, especially people who are older. However, I will give my brutally honest opinion on various acts some guys perform to be chivalrous.

1. Holding open a door: This has happened to me too many times to count. I really appreciate it if someone just walked through a door and they extend an arm to hold it open long enough for me to catch it (rather than letting it slam in my face). Trust me, no matter what gender you are, THAT IS KIND. However, it gets to be pretty awkward when a person, usually a guy, holds open every single door for you, especially if you got there slightly before him and were about to open it yourself. This just results in a really awkward moment when you have to move, then they open the door, then you glance to make sure they're not just opening it for themself, you realize they opened it for you, you hurriedly walk through, and end up being unsure whether or not to thank them, and end up deciding not to.

Not only is this situation incredibly uncomfortable but it makes me feel as though they don't believe I'm even capable of opening a door by myself. If I'm carrying a ton of stuff, that's another story, but usually that isn't the case. So instead of feeling really flattered (as I assume they want me to feel), I usually eventually get fed up with them.

2. Letting you go first in unimportant (or even important for that matter) situations: There is this guy that I go to school with that REALLY prides himself in being chivalrous. At least to me however, it makes me feel uncomfortable. Not only this, but it's completely unnecessary. For instance, one time we were both waiting to talk to a teacher and he had been waiting long before me. Once the teacher was ready, instead of just plain talking to her, he told me that he could wait. I flat out told him that that really wasn't necessary. It turns out, he just needed to know where the paper was. I had to pretty much conference with her on my essay. If he had let me go first, he would have lost a whole lot of time doing whatever he needed to do with that piece of paper simply because he thought that I would think it kind of him to let me go first. Instead, I find it quite bothersome that he doesn't prioritize things based on the time they would take. If he were to have also needed to take up the teacher's time for a while, it would have been fine for him to have asked if I only needed the teacher for a short period of time. If I only needed her time for a moment, that would have been greatly appreciated. But he knew he only needed her for a second so he should have just asked his question.

3. Paying for all dates: This is something that I know many people would probably disagree with, especially girls. However, i don't understand why the guy should have to pay for everything. For all I know, maybe he doesn't have enough money to pay for frequent dates. Taking turns for paying would benefit both people. There would be a sense of equality instilled early on in the relationship and the female wouldn't have to feel guilty about possibly getting an expensive meal (some might not but I would).

One might argue that the girl doesn't tell the guy that they must pay for a date, but that's not the point. From my experience, a guy is always expected to pay. If they don't they're considered cheap and not a gentleman. I don't care if a guy must pay for even just the first date in order to be considered a "true gentleman". I think a gentleman is someone who cares. This care doesn't need to be shown using money. In fact, if someone asks me out (if I don't ask them first), I will tell them that I have one rule: we split the tab.


I am a female and I don't believe in chivalry. That is not to say that I don't believe in respect. I believe in respect, I just don't think that people should be treated differently based on sex. I believe in equality and in order for there to be equality, there cannot be chivalry.

I've never really appreciated how females are portrayed in the media, especially magazines aimed at teens. However, it never bothered me as much as it does now. Very recently I learned that a very good friend of mine most likely has an eating disorder. She wants to look demure and dainty like everyone looks in the magazines. This girl has a very strong bone structure and is not small, but she is a healthy weight. It scares me that she has thought so much about losing weight that she has even settled on a specific number of pounds that she must lose in order to please herself.

I am incredibly fed up with social media and the obsession with skinny. I'll bet that on nearly every fashion magazine cover, there's a headline for an article about losing weight or looking thinner. The idea that in order to look good, one must be incredibly thin has been pounded into every girl's head since a very young age. This preposterous way of thinking has taken a tole on society which I do not think can be reversed for those who are currently teens. However, I do have hope for the future.

-Mark Twain